When you lose something you can't replace....

This year saw many new highs and lows.

When I look back, I see an year filled with broken promises and tears. But leaving behind all of him, I'd love to remember this year as an year of infinite possibilities, of meeting some wonderful people (Joe and George precisely) and mostly exploring new corners. 

I was blessed with a beautiful niece, who laughs like crazy every time I'm around.

I have been to newer places this year, my favourite being Colaba in Mumbai and Courtenay place in New Zealand, danced with strangers, missed home and spent sleepless nights. My first trip alone to a new city was quite remarkable, I remember the glorious moonlit Ballard Estate, Room No 96 and waking up to the seas.
My first trip with friends happened this year too, into the sea, free and beautiful. I started writing for Postergully. And ended too. :(

Life is not really about achieving something new, I realize. One sad morning, I decided to leave a part of me and move along. It was so damn scary that I often had to come back to reality.
Life without you would be the toughest thing, I have ever known. Every memories I create I wish I could have shared with you, every new road I walk I wonder how it would have been to walk holding you. But I chose to leave it for good

So this is to 2013, to some wonderful memories made, to travelling and to leaving a part of me somewhere faraway. I hope to see 2014 in newer colors, in travelling more and more and in falling into madness all over again. 

Life, duh!

******Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.******

96!

She had prepared for it a week in advance.

The room was neat and tidy, the bed sheets were clean and white although few strands of hair lay here and there. The house keeping staffs were young, restless and anxious to set a jolly place. The room was silent, apart from occasional swapping of channels before she decided to turn it off for good. She liked staring through the balcony at the distant horizon, the glistening water of the Arabian Sea, the ships that were parked at the harbor, each she thought had epics to narrate. After few days she became good at it, she could say which ship appeared when and which disappeared on which night, some mornings she would just stay there in the balcony staring straight and counting numbers, imagining her to be there forever.

Brunch at Britannia café, a walk down the causeway and evening at Marine drive, she imagined, just when he cancelled the trip, ‘too busy even on the weekend’.

At office she could hardly concentrate on the work.

She acquiesced without giving much thought or none of the thoughts were strong enough to make her do otherwise, the last happy conversation, she remembered was about final revising. She asked ‘towel?’ he replied, ‘no’. And then she rushed to the airport- happy, nervous and excited.

But then stories happen in between, stories of tears and arguments, of pain and rage.

Home she rushed back. ‘Enough’ she whispered.

Mumbai.

So it was actually the other way around.
Incessant Rainfall. Messy hair love. Cha. Evernote. Conventional smiles. Alfanso aahhness. Flustered evenings. Inebriating Marine drive. Prawn biriyani at Ambar / bheja fry at Bade Miyan. Walk down the moonlit Ballard Estate. Hurried breakfast of  tasteless sandwiches. Meetings. Purple Peeptoes. Pao bhajis at 1 am. Midnight ramble. Lonely hotel nights. Sleeplessness. Desire. Cogitating over the past. 

Life happened, love did not! 

For every time I learn to be strong
and make newer promises
For every time I grow up a little more
I hate you.

For every time I choose a wrong a way
and cry out with broken eyes
For every time I give up.
I need you.

For every time you come back
and let me see you in different light
For every time you break me all over again
I find you.

For every time you make me smile
and make me find peace
For every time I desert the world just to be with you
I love you.

For I know if love is this strong, 
I can be stronger...